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BED Success Story: Finding Your Own Roadmap
After too many years of unsuccessful dieting, excessive exercise, out-of-control spending, alcohol abuse, and extreme anxiety, Meredith Terpeluk sought treatment for her binge eating. She quickly realized it was not about the weight.
Here is her story:
I ate my troubles away as a child, which started a vicious cycle of turning to food to cope with the pain of my parents’ divorce, gaining weight, being made fun of at school and then turning to the food again to cope with that pain.
My parents put a band-aid on it with a diet because it was the only thing that made sense to make the pain go away. It was the weight that was making me feel bad, right?
Filling a void
So began my 18-year struggle of restricting with diets, and bingeing when I stopped dieting. I totally lost my inner compass. Often times I looked better, but I’d never dealt with that initial trauma, so the diets never quite made the pain go away. I just kept trying to numb that pain and fill a void.
Even worse, I found it wasn’t just about the food. I was trying to fill myself up with alcohol, exercise, spending, and relationships. The more I used other things the way I used food, the worse the emptiness inside me got.
When I graduated from college, I was so empty I didn’t know what I wanted to do. So I did what someone else said I should. Maybe that would tell me who I was and fill the hole. I spent seven years in politics, with a year on a presidential campaign and four years in the White House. I was using food, alcohol, running, spending, and relationships to numb myself—and having panic attacks from extreme anxiety. My body compass was telling me this was the wrong place for me.
Finding a passion
At the beginning of the President’s second term, I left to pursue what was emerging as my passion. Having gone through what I’d gone through, I knew I wanted to help prevent kids from getting childhood obesity.
I went to the Department of Health and Human Services for two years to find out everything they were doing on the issue. I led interagency committees on obesity and wellness, created and chaired an event with a national non-profit for kids to get moving and eating right, helped promote physical activity with the President’s Council on Physical Fitness, and even tried to get employees moving at HHS with a worksite wellness program.
Missing the root cause of obesity
But nothing seemed to be the answer to the obesity epidemic. Despite all these efforts, I knew deep down that we were missing something. So I decided to leave Washington and pursue a master’s degree in managing non-profits, thinking that might be where the answer lies. I continued to do the work in the community by serving on the local Obesity Coalition and introducing Notre Dame varsity athletes to the community as healthy mentors for kids on fitness and nutrition. All these things made a difference.
Separating food from feelings
In 2006, I was seeing a psychiatrist because my anxiety had not gone away and neither had my abuse of the things that made me feel better. She recommended I participate in a study to help binge eaters at Notre Dame based on the book by Evelyn Tribole, called Intuitive Eating. It was a tremendous gift, because it made me realize I had never separated the food from my feelings, and I had lost my ability to listen to my body’s hunger signals as a result of dieting so much. I needed to find my inner compass, and it helped me get there.
At the end of the study, I was featured in the local paper in an article that shared my account of how well participating in the study worked for me. I asked the paper if I could create an email account, so people who read the story could have someone to write to if it spoke to them. I was amazed at the number of people who came out of the woodwork, who realized they were binge eaters and had used ongoing dieting to “treat” their disorder.
I had found my calling. But I still hadn’t totally dealt with my own stuff, and, in order to pursue that calling, I had to do that. So I finally let go. That article was the catalyst, and so were the people who responded.
It’s about much more than weight
On May 12, 2008, I checked myself into treatment. I worked through much of my trauma and found myself. I’ve been in recovery ever since. I found something else out, too. I found out that it was not about the weight; it was about a ton of other factors, which is why I believe it’s been so hard for our nation to figure this obesity thing out.
I do know now that I am an addict who has suffered from an eating disorder I never knew I had and that I share this with millions of people nationwide who have excess weight and eating issues. I also know my environment and my circumstances played a role. It’s always been about way more than the weight. And, until now, I’ve been treating it as if it’s only about weight, along with the rest of the country.
I thank God for every step of this journey, because I wouldn’t be where I am today, finally able to help lead people out of their struggles on these things. That is my journey, and I know each person has his or her own.
I often say that the reason I’m doing this work is because I know what we are missing as individuals and as a nation. As long as we’re looking at obesity as the problem, we are missing the root cause and all the other aspects of each person’s struggle. The sad part is that the more we make weight the problem, the more people who suffer from issues around it feel victimized, and the more they go into abusive behaviors with it.
Finding your own roadmap
Just like each one of us has a unique shape, each one of us needs a unique roadmap. Lots of us are giving ourselves the wrong one and getting sick, gaining weight, and spending loads of money. Everyone else is telling us to fix the weight, so we keep fixing the surface and filling the potholes that keep coming back.
It’s time to treat the whole road, instead of filling the potholes. We can’t base something so important as our personal health on what everyone else is telling us to do especially, if it’s not what is best for us. We all need our own roadmap, and we can only find it if we look at ourselves. The more we get real with ourselves, the more powerful we will be.
All you need is to set your compass and set your course. I will help you with that. No matter what you are dealing with, you are not alone and you are not worthless. You are WORTH IT. It is my personal mission to educate and empower you to find that core wellness only you can find with a roadmap that uniquely fits you.
Meredith is president of Core Wellness Life Coaching, an organization that guides other organizations and individuals to a healthier lifestyle. www.reachcorewellness.wordpress.com |
